#098: sink

save me from myself
don’t let me drown

sigh exam season!!! a real good time la I haven’t felt this awful since neuro exam in freshman year sem 2 (because the stats/soci exams were both really just my kind of exam and i knew i would do well no matter what) but i honest-to-God am just so so unbelievably scared for my evo exam today

i guess part of me is just afraid that i’m not choosing to walk away from the sciences but rather that i’m just not cut out for it/not good enough for it, and i’ve been pushing myself to take science classes/do sciencey things to try and push back on that

part of me is also scared because i’ve begun rly wanting to hurt myself again and yeah this is nothing new 2 me  but it’s new to c and i can tell that it really upsets her but at the same time a) i can’t control it as much as i’d like to believe and b) i’d feel bad keeping it from her anyway

 

 

aaaaaaa after this i’ll have 2 more exams this semester i really am not looking forward to breaking down every time.

😦

x Nat.

 

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