#071: inimitable

so my latest obsession is lin-manuel miranda’s musical hamilton which is on broadway rn and i hate that  i can’t go and actually see it because the music is FANTASTIC and the script/lyrics are FANTASTIC and i love the (female) cast !!!

and these are the lyrics to one of the most meaningful songs titled wait for it

love doesn’t discriminate
between the sinners and the saints
it takes and it takes and it takes
and we keep loving anyway
we laugh and we cry and we break
and we make our mistakes
and if there’s a reason i’m by her side
when so many have tried
then i’m willing to wait for it

//

death doesn’t discriminate
between the sinners and the saints
it takes and it takes and it takes
and we keep living anyway
we rise and we fall and we break
and we make our mistakes
and if there’s a reason i’m still alive
when everyone who loves me has died
then i’m willing to wait for it

//

i am the one thing in life i can control
i am inimitable,i am an original
i’m not falling behind or running late
i’m not standing still, i am lying in wait

i guess it just pushes the idea that sometimes it doesn’t matter how you choose to live your life sometimes fate just takes things from you or gives things to you without you asking and you just have to take that in your stride

and like, not get bothered by your circumstances too much? because all you can really be sure of is yourself and the choices you make from wherever life has thrown you

and sometimes not doing anything/appearing passive may seem like weakness to others as long as you have a plan you’re good to go

i don’t know i am just hamilton trash rn i love alexander and angelica and eliza !!!!!

anyway it’s been a really lovely day

had dinner/secret santa gift exchange with the ramen gang since sam and denise are back and got a really pretty pendant from my secret santa (who was jingxiang LOL) i am v thankful it was lovely to talk to everyone again

then skyped patrick because it’s been a while since the last time and i kind of miss him (thank god winter break’s ending soon) and we spent an hour talking about his article/netflix/just chilling together and him putting up with me looking at cute puppies on tumblr and laughing at dumb nonsense HAHA  i guess i just miss sitting together reading/watching shows/just doing our own things like we used to but we’ll get back to that soon enough 🙂

i’m glad the break hasn’t changed anything between us so far i’m glad that my heart isn’t being stupid like it usually does i’m glad this finally feels right i’m so glad to have this to have him to have all this i am so lucky

so lucky.

x Natasha

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