#054: entropy

entropy, n.
the lack of order or predictability; gradual decline into disorder

if everything inevitably tends to chaos,
why do i even bother trying
to sort my feelings for you into
neat, labelled boxes to shelve away?

i spent weeks and months learning
the dewey decimal system of my heart
just to file each stray thought of you away
135 – dreams and mysteries
302 – social interaction
841 – french poetry

and there are so many things i want
to set aside and keep safe for the future
and they fit into a million different categories
that don’t even have places in the system yet

but if a whirlwind is going to blow in
under the sturdy roof of my library
and lift up each sheet of hastily scribbled thoughts
from their carefully catalogued slots

if everything in the space between us
is invariably going to crumble and fall apart

if all the threads tying us together
fray and start to split

if it takes more to keep our pieces from scattering
than it ever did to bring us together in the first place

are we really meant to hold on to a sinking ship?

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