#053: temperance

temperance, n.
moderation; voluntary self-restraint

everything about (residential) college life, especially having you with me now, is about finding and maintaining my balance in work/schoolwork/extracurriculars/friends/you/mental health/sleep and i feel like i haven’t been trained to juggle well enough

it’s like thinking you’re going in to learn how to juggle the simple way with three indestructible beanbags but no, you’re given 7 globes of glass that’ll shatter the minute they touch the floor and you’re expected to juggle those while riding a unicycle and your palms begin to grow slick with sweat and still the spotlight shines and the audience watches and waits for you to falter and still you go on

some days i honestly feel like just dropping everything and sleeping/walking out of campus for a breather but… i also have too much responsibility to be okay with missing more than like a class a week/fortnight

i think / i hope / i pray that i’m getting better at this balancing nonsense

i don’t think i even appear to have my shit together sigh maybe i should really start cutting down on everything else and focusing on what matters

where do you draw the line?

self-control’s never been one of my strengths.

x Natasha


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