#035: worth

pass me another bottle, honey
the jäger’s so sweet
but if it keeps you around, then i’m down

meet me on thames street
i’ll take you out though i’m hardly worth your time
in the cold, you look so fierce but i’m warm enough
because the tension’s like a fire

six feet under the stars // all time low

sometimes it’s very difficult to tell what you really want in situations like this

the power of szu’s df group’s stir is quite strong and i feel like my heart is always quite malleable in situations like this because it pushes you to see people in a light you never would have noticed otherwise

and i’m pretty sure i can tell the difference between what’s stir-induced and what’s actually coming from my heart by now but it’s honestly quite terrifying to acknowledge that i might actually be feeling something

i guess i shouldn’t be all that surprised; you are, after all, pretty much everything i’ve been looking for

but i just don’t want to admit this to myself or anyone else because whenever i’m even remotely interested in someone, it always seems to crash and burn. i just don’t even want to confront this honestly with you (even though i kind of feel like i can) because what do i really have to bring to the table, anyway?

hearts are complicated and i am of the belief that they operate independently because none of my rational thoughts on this subject are making the slightest difference

“if your feelings overwhelm you and your short-term/long-term align, that’s when i think feelings should be listened to.”
and yes, i really think they do here, at least for me (apart from my huge looming fear of fucking things up irreparably between us because god, losing you completely would suck)

i just need this all to resolve itself but it’s not easy when you won’t even tell me how you feel and i can’t predict anything because the truth is i don’t know you all that well

and i know it’s just because we were so drunk but i do miss that feeling of you-and-me, the electricity in being all tangled up together

please, please let my heart and mind come to a conclusion soon (and let yours be the same.)

x Natasha


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