#030: fate

so today, the week seven allocations were emailed to us around dinner time and basically that was all the freshman batch could talk about because oh god we are all so excited (and also some people feel like they were robbed of opportunities because they didn’t get their top options but hey I’m in no position to speak on this)

I got South Africa which is absolutely insane because they only opened about 12-15 spots for that and I almost considered putting it lower on my list because I highly doubted my ability to get in based purely on luck but hey clearly my desperate prayers to whoever up there helped because I flipping got it!!!

but God can sometimes act in kind and cruel ways simultaneously: by sending you to places you want to go but with the wrong people

and I guess being too demanding is a bad thing – I should just accept how life has chosen to steer us all because there will never be enough what ifs or alternate universes where things work out exactly as I wanted

I wonder what would’ve happened if I put that other option as my top choice instead; I wonder if we would have ended up together and if anything would have come out of it but knowing life’s cruel tricks, in that instance I would have gotten in on your spot and you’d be diverted somewhere else instead

I’ll just be happy with what I do have and what I’ve already been given and save this heart for three months later

x Natasha

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