#001: the beginning

hello, i guess

it seems fitting that i’m choosing to revamp/actually start using this space on a friday morning at 1:42am when i can’t get to sleep because this is very representative of the way i’ve been approaching things in the long break after the a levels have ended

so yeah, i just settled my photo id [what a crap photo of a crap face] for my student card and registered for the mandatory health check-up before matriculation and it’s T-minus 22 days till i officially move into the Yale-NUS campus (!!)

i am a mix of enthusiastic/excited and anxious because adjusting to change has never been one of my strengths and this change in particular is one that i will have to stick with for the next four years, regardless of whether i like it or not, and if i can handle it or not

times like this i just wish i could slap myself across the face and be like girl the hell up you need to learn to take life by the balls and just roll with it but i just don’t know if i can handle everything this new and exciting period of my life is going to bring

for starters, only 5% of the applicants to YNC got in

five. freakin’. percent.

this means that from the get-go, we are already expected to be at our A game because there’s like, over 3700 students we had to beat in order to get into this crazy amazing school and everyone i’ve met thus far (which is actually an oddly small amount) has already been super talented and smart and fun and just all-around fabulous

meanwhile, there’s me.

like, it’s been ages since the decision was posted onto the portal but it still hasn’t fully sunken in that i made it in here. i mean, i’ve never seen myself as being remarkable in any way, let alone anywhere above or close to average, even.

i just really, really hope that i don’t disappoint anyone. not the teachers, the admissions board, my family, friends or myself, for that matter.

hopefully, i’ll be able to get my shit together and use this trepidation to fuel myself to become a better student/person..?

all things aside, i’m just glad i won’t be entering this crazy new life alone.

i’m all for clean slates and starting over, but there’s a certain level of familiarity that’s nice to have amid all this foreign hustle and bustle. i’m just so glad szujin managed to get in too and hopefully we can stay close for the next couple years because i’m pretty sure i’ll need a support system when i go crazy and i’m not too good at learning how to open up to new people

here’s to new starts and p o s i t i v e  e n e r g y, god knows we’ll need it.

[maybe i’ll be back with more pre-orientation updates? maybe.]

x Natasha

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